A Look Back

Before I can go forward, I have to go back.

Late Spring wasn't turning out to be like other Springs. Dad and mom got home from a cruise and neither one was feeling well.

Dad finally gets admitted to the hospital to find out the worst possible news, advanced terminal gall bladder cancer. Dad, why do you have such a high pain tolerance? I think most people would not have been able to handle the pain you were in for so long.

How amazing it was to have Eric work in the very hospital dad was admitted. He could expedite procedures, talk to the Drs. and check in throughout the day. He was a great comfort to us all.

When mom gets admitted to the hospital, not once but twice, a few days after dad gets hospice care, we are all at the edge of coping. Don't go mom, I need you still.

This was the last photo of dad outside, we thought he would like to see his garden he worked so hard planting. I called to him and he gave me this pose. This is the epitome of dad, always giving you a smile, even when in pain.

Dad died on June 24th, just 3 weeks after his diagnosis. It happened so fast we were all disoriented. So many wonderful people guided us through the difficult time of organizing and reflecting. To add to the surreal nature of his death, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson die within hours of dad.

So many family and friends were gathered to remember dad and gave us all the love we needed. Each of dad's 30 grandchildren placed a rose from his garden on his casket.

Mom, handling the day so gracefully. She told me later she didn't know how she made it through the day so strong. She was also just 6 days post stroke. It is amazing what a human can handle emotionally and in her case physically. She is having her healthy amount of mourning and crying now, me too.

Janeen and I took the kids to the Ronald Reagan Library. Air Force One is so cool.

How wonderful to have a friend I've known since birth. Our kids think they are cousins.

The rest of the summer was stuffed with lots of friends and family. I needed every ounce of their love and attention.

Mel came for a visit with her family to Laguna right in the middle of dad dying. I think he died the day she arrived. She had to listen to every detail of the saga and was such a strength for me. I love a friend that says "tell me everything, you need to unload" and then listens. I love this woman. I'm in the middle of reading Cold Comfort Farm. She just gave me the book about 13 years after we went and saw the movie together, still one of my all time favorites...."I saw something nasty in the woodshed......" the best line ever!

I had my Brian sisters in law in town for a week. They are so fun and amazing. Christy made the most delicious banana cake, notice the empty plates they are holding.

Grace's baptism was soon after dad died. It was such a touching event. She had so many of her cousins with her, doting on her, it was precious. I had a few choke ups when I realized this is my only child dad wasn't at the baptism for. I just wanted him there, steady and strong as usual.

Derik and I got away for a couple of days in Santa Monica when Mad and Ford were both at camp and Christy took Grace. It was a much needed break from life.

We went to the Pompeii exhibit at the MOCA. This installation was out in front.

I made it through the hardest summer of my life (so far) and couldn't have done it without all my family and friends. My dear sister Terri and my cousin Julie are my heroes. Life is just too short, I vow to make it sweet!